7/31/16

Yay thank you Bella <3

I have (most of) a bag of baby carrots, mustard (yellow mustard, not that honey crap), 3/4 bag of rice cakes, 2 individual servings of chocolate coconut milk (90 calories each!), and a blueberry almond protein smoothie in my fridge.
Oh and all my boyfriend's definitely not safe foods (pizza, breadsticks, cookies, ice cream, pasta)

So I know I should go grocery shopping. But I keep putting it off. Even though I hate grocery shopping when I work later that day. And I work Wednesday-Saturday. So. Fuck.

Dinner at mother's tonight as usual.

She watches what I eat and I hate it.

Also if I turn down alcohol she'll think I'm pregnant (literally happens every time). I'll just tell her I'm trying to eat cleaner and not pollute my body with anything unhealthy. I'll still end up eating too much but I'll figure out a way to make it okay.

I can't just have a little bit of alcohol. Once I get a taste I need more. It's scary. And I crave that one little taste anyway. Which sucks because we have tons of alcohol at work.

I'm kind of scared.

But I'm resisting so that's good.

Nothing interesting here. Just trying to survive.

not me

7/24/16

I'm going to stop eating solid food. It's too stressful. It'll be gradual though. I want to be healthy. So what if my skewed idea of healthy is 250 calories worth of liquid every other day?

I've been putting honey in tea recently. Which has been.... interesting? I used to hate honey but I kind of like it now.

Is anyone still out there? Or does no one else blog anymore?