Europe Trip - Part 1

Sorry about not posting for so long T_T I was gone for the past month with little internet T_T argh

Yeah I know I'm Russian... but I love Soviet Russia jokes =D

Grey cat = me, orange cat = grandmothers

CHROME CHROME CHROME!

Nerdiest state ftw =P

This reminds me of Speaker for the Dead...

Awwww <3

I went to Moscow (well, suburbs of Moscow) and Snezhinsk while in Russia. Snezhinsk is a town none of you (most likely...) have heard of. It's in the Urals, very small, guarded and it's what we call a "closed" city - no one can get into the city unless they were born/invited there. I was born there =) Moscow sucked. Mostly because all I did there was meet my mother's boyfriend. My married mother's boyfriend. I mean, he's really sweet and his story is really sad... he can barely walk even though he's only 33 years old. But the fact that my mother is cheating on her husband... ugh. I was slightly (okay... a bit more than slightly) pacified by the fact that he has an awesome computer =D It has Linux and Windows 7 on it. Oh and he loves computer games and he was fascinated by my DS. Haha. I would like him if he wasn't my mother's boyfriend. Oh and he's a super crazy smart genius physicist. He was personally tutored by my super smart grandfather (who's now dead T_T) - aka my mother's father. Anyway. In Snezhinsk (which translated into English, would mean "snow(flake) city" - part of the reason I love snow so much), I mostly stayed with my grandma and my cousin, since they're my only family there. Grandmother tried to feed me chocolate a lot. Ugh I hate chocolate... I threw up once in Moscow.

Remember - the enemy's gate is always DOWN!

Dragon Army <3

No idea

Umm

I felt thin one day. Apparently I'm a fatass even on my thin days.

Proof:

See? FAT FAT FAT

Gah

The rolls of fat everywhere. Yeah. I know. It's gross. Reverse thinspo, yes? =D

Pics I like -

I find this one to be very true actually, even though they're supposed to be funny/offensive ^

Amen.

This reminds me of Naruto... that one exam where the whole point was to see how well you can cheat =D

^_^

Long but I loved it. For LOTR/Harry Potter fans =)
(The opinions presented are not my own)

Points if you can name what they're referring to =D

Remind me to mention how Harry Potter is a metaphor for Christianity...

This is me

Also me =)

Gorgeous thinspo, yes?

I don't really like kids :3

Yes, I am Christian. I also know how to laugh. -_-

Why you should sleep with a teddy bear =)

I have a crush on this guy =)

Yeah. I don't know.

My mom is getting home tomorrow.

The French exchange student is coming tomorrow.

I'm leaving for Europe June 22. Won't be back until July 22.

I might try to blog while I'm there.

Love you all <3

127.4lbs

I ate dinner. Green bell pepper and a ton of baby carrots with hummus. Great idea, yeah? Ha. It was around 9pm. Fucking stupid idea. And I was drinking diet coke like a fish yesterday. I think I got through 3 bottles... 24oz bottles.

61 minutes of exercise yesterday.

2.5 24oz bottles of diet coke sitting next to me.

I wonder what tomorrow will bring?

I really want jelly beans.

I think I'll have a sugar b/p today. I have to go buy chocolate for my stepdad's birthday. It's this local place that makes handmade chocolate. It's good I think. I don't remember. Haven't had it in a while. They have a line of vegan chocolate though. So that's cool. Might get some of that and then run up to the grocery store and get jelly beans.

Yeah I'm a fatass.

I don't give a fuck.

Umm...I thought I had something witty to say, but I guess not.

I'm wearing size 6 jeans and I feel like a fat pig. They're almost falling off me. I don't know how this makes me feel enormously fat, but it does. Does anyone else get that feeling? I can't be the only one...


Hope you're all doing better than me.

123.6lbs

What the fuck? I was such a fat bitch yesterday. Didn't eat anything all day then around 9pm I went to the mall with a friend and got a tall soy latte from Starbucks. Also had half a bottle of diet coke.

And I was 123.6lbs this morning.

How the hell did that happen???

I'm gonna b/p my ass off today. Why? Cause I can, bitches.

125.6lbs

How the fuck did that happen?

To answer your questions - I'm 5'2" >.<

Today I ate some chips and 2 clif bars. Purged it all. I've felt sick all day.



I'm still a fat bitch


My stepdad's leaving around 2am.

I think I'll b/p after he leaves.

I know for sure I won't be sleeping

Maybe I will

I'm so damn tired

I'm sorry


I'll update tomorrow night with my weight I guess. I'll probably gain, but I'll try to walk all day tomorrow so hopefully that will help =)

127.2lbs

fat bitch

Because I love you guys...

Picture post!

I have nothing interesting to say. I'll be out of the country June 22 - July 22 =)

I find this amusing because I live in Ohio and I've actually thought about this XD And the Wright brothers...man, we suck at making people want to stay here!

People hiding =)

Click to make it bigger XD It's Ron Weasley's inbox!

I don't smoke, but I thought this was cute =) Reminds me of "I swear to drunk I'm not God" ^_^

Long, but epic ^_^

Random thinspo!

Something all you lovely people should be saying =)

Paradise =)

Religion commentary =)

A cool, creepy photo gallery - Alice in Wonderland Don't look if blood and stuff creeps you out! It's very artistic imho, but in a very dark, gothic way =) DEFINITELY worth a look though

Hmm... I don't know what to talk about...

There's this guy. (What the fuck, Vampire? Really?) We stay up late talking all the time. Like 3-4 in the morning late. About deep stuff. Life, the depths of the mind, controlling your own fears and stuff... he makes me dizzy...

Sigh.

I need to shave my legs. I have a date tomorrow night. I don't like him as more than a friend, but I think he knows that, so it's okay. He's a great friend.

Why do I have all these great friends but never anything more?

Oh...I made a bracelet...it's pretty...I've been making a lot of bracelets recently...it calms me and it takes an hour, more if I'm texting people and stuff...good distraction...

That was my first attempt =) I've gotten a bit better

Oh well. Bye, lovelies <3 I'll try to blog again soon. Sorry for the piles of pics XD

This made me happy

Also I've gotten some comments (mostly through private messages on YouTube) on my video... wow =)


Sophie - thank you ^^

I was 127.8 yesterday. Mom made me eat a really big dinner (500cals approximately) but I didn't go over 800cals for the day. I still feel like a fat pig.

I wish I could get out...

Oh! I got my schedule for the fall semester =D

Monday, Wednesday, Friday
Intro to psych - 12:45 - 1:50
Chinese 101 - 3:20 - 4:30

Tuesday, Thursday
Physics 101 - 9:30 - 10:45
French 301 - 2:15 - 3:30
English 111 - 4:10 - 5:25

=)

I'm a linguistics-psychology double major, with a potential Chinese minor. So...yes :3 I'm very excited ^_^

And yesterday my mom said I should join Spectrum - the LGBT club thing at the university =D Ahh she's finally accepting that I like girls!!!

And and and it was sooo funny when I mentioned what I'm majoring in to my friend and he was like "a cutter majoring in psychology...that's like a murderer majoring in criminology" Totally cracked me up for some reason.

XD

How are you lovely ladies? (and any guys that read, of course <3 <3)

Fuck

I binged last night. I could have said no. So easily. But I didn't. Why? Cause I'm a fucking pathetic bulimic. Woot.

I just found out this morning that my grandma is sick in the hospital. Like, really sick. They don't know what's wrong with her. There's a lot of complicated stuff going on with that now.

Weight yesterday: 129.6lbs

Fucking fatass

I'm going to the university tomorrow. Staying until Saturday. Except after all the orientation shit, we're going on a fucking PICNIC with my stepsister and her husband and probably her baby. Fuck. Thankfully I'll be away from my parents the whole time (except for that picnic) so I'll just not eat until then. Ah fuck my stomach hurts

My stomach always hurts when I eat. It kinda scares me.

Oh well.

Peace out, bitches

Vlog

I was bored this morning =D

Slice

I don't know what happened. The night before last, there was broken glass. I was playing with it and suddenly there was blood pouring out of my hands. It was...surreal. Is this really happening? When I went to rinse them off, the blood just kept coming out...the water was all red... so of course I told my stepdad, cause it was...fuck I couldn't think...I felt so bad about it though... there are people dealing with real problems and I'm crying about a few cuts... I mean, I'm a cutter..I'm used to cuts...what the fuck is wrong with me?


Sigh.


Fuck I don't know.

The last day of high school was yesterday. Graduation's Sunday.

Did I mention I'm hosting a French student for a few days this summer?

I started a blog for my writing... please don't refer to this blog if you comment it or anything. I want to keep it separate as I might share it with people who I don't want knowing about my weirdness.
Here's the link... Writings of a Mango

I'm listening to Viz by Le Tigre. I really like it. It makes me happy =)

I have to see my dad on Sunday. I hope he doesn't call me fat.

131.6lbs - 59.6kg

At least it's a loss. Sigh. Went all day on diet coke, it was great. Had about...8oz? I wasn't really counting, since it's so low-cal. Then I did some pushups at night. Then I fucking BINGED. Well....okay..it was probably no more than 400cals...but STILL. Oh fuck ew. I think it's still in me T_T Ughh....at least diet coke is a natural laxative!


I'm writing a paper on anorexia for psych right now. How fucking wonderful. A constant reminder of how enormously fat I am! Haha

Thank you all for your lovely comments on my last post <3 I hope I can write something that's worth your time to read! <3 <3 <3 Stephen King is so inspiring :3

<3

Scream until your heart stops

If you know where the title came from, you get a gold star =)

Weight yesterday: 133.4lbs

FUCK

Short term weight goal: 130.4 by Monday morning

And you know what, bitches? This WILL happen.


Diet coke is God. Kay? Cool.

I threw up way too much yesterday. Sigh. I shouldn't do that again. I won't do it again. (Please, God, don't let me do it again....)

I'm kinda considering writing short stories. Ha. I'm a shit writer, but I'll try...I have a wonderful image in my mind. Now the question is if I can translate it into words. If it turns out well, I might start another blog (on this account) with my writings. Would anyone want to read that? >.<


Don't really know what else to say. Graduation's May 29. I'm scared.