60.4

That's how many kg I weigh. Can you say fucking FATASS? But I'll get it down. I will. Watch me. Ugh fuck I'm so disgustingly fat...

Hm so there's actually a lot to talk about for this post...

small, Whoa o.O I'm never eating almonds again! That's gross.... pistachios it is =)

So... two lovely bloggers gave me an award =)
Night Flower and Amber gave me this...

I guess the rules are write 10 things about yourself and pass it on to 5 people...

10 things... Hm... My life isn't very exciting >.< I'm sorry...

1. My real name is Margarita, though I go by Mango in my real life.

2. I used to have a white German Shepherd until my parents gave her away because they didn't want to take care of her. I might post pictures of her on here later =) She was beautiful.

3. I still secretly like the Newsboys >.> I grew up on them.

4. There are nuts and skittles stashed in my tshirt drawer right now. I won't eat them, but they're there just to hang out and stuff.

5. I text a lot of people that I've never met. I trust them more than I trust the people I know in real life. (This is starting to feel like PostSecret)

6. I used to be blonde until I dyed my hair dark brown a few times. Now I'm dirty blonde. >.<

7. Oreos are my biggest weakness. (But I'm determined to show the who's in charge so I'm having my mom buy them when she goes to the store XD)

8. I bite my lips. A lot. I probably shouldn't, but I seem to need to constantly bite something? I hate it... I'm trying to stop.

9. I love books. All of them except 4. The Twilight books. They're the only books I have mistreated. I threw them into a big trash can during locker clean up day at school one year.

10. I love following vegan food blogs because it's wonderful food porn.

I'm sorry that my 10 things suck so much >.<

So... 5 people to pass this on to!
Sophie, A Girl with Tiny Intentions, Addicted to Thin, Skinny Love, and Elara.


So this week. Sigh. My best friend's bf tried to kill himself and ended up in the hospital. Then my best friend broke up with him cause apparently he doesn't want to date a 14 year old. I think he's being a dick... you don't break up with someone right after they try to kill themselves. And he already has a new guy that he likes... And yes, the new guy likes him too. It pisses me off.
To add to this, my little brother's girlfriend (he's not actually biologically related to me... or adopted... he's just a good friend) also tried to kill herself by ODing. She's also in the hospital. Sigh.

It's been a bad week I guess.

Dylan and I kept fighting because all I was doing was b/p-ing (mostly for the purge... I didn't want the food) during all this and he hates that I do that and... ugh. I think we'll be ok though. I hope we'll be ok. He still says he loves me. =)


To counteract the shittiness of this post, I'm posting pics!

Vampire story cover designed by my friend =) I came up with the title, he came up with the picture. We were bored and it made me smile.

And a lovely picture =) I think it describes the way my mind sometimes is really well. Like there's something physically holding me back from touching food (with the intent of eating it).


And with that, I leave you. Goodbye, my lovely readers <3

5 day weekend

I love how my post titles revolve around school-related stuff, even though I despise that place...

Morrigan, I LOVE YOUR NAME! >.< Anywayyy =) Thanks <3 I think I failed my exams, but it's only 1/5th of the semester grade, so it's ok XD

Skinny Love, yeah I read your blog >.> I'm sorry that you had to cut your fast short =( I know how much that sucks


I haven't really been doing anything exciting. I got a new battery for the scale (MY scale now), so I'll get that in and weigh myself as soon as my parents are gone. I'm so nervous =( I probably weigh like 65kg. Oh... I put my goals to the right > on my blog. In kg cause 30kg is my goal. Have I explained that? It was the weight my aunt was when she died from anorexia, but I think she was way taller than me. It just seems like a nice number (66lbs for those who don't understand kg), though I wouldn't mind going lower.

I epically binged yesterday and I'm paying the price for it today =(
-half a banana -60cals
-bag of skittles (a 1 serving bag) -230cals
-miso -30cals
-17 pistachios -??50cals? Ok just googled it... says 1 pistachio is 4cals, so 68cals
-1 apple -100cals
-rice with fucking FRIED MUSHROOMS AND ONIONS. WTF??? -300cals (estimate)
Total: 788

Wait... what? ...Under 800cals and I could swear it's the worst all day binge ever?
Um
Ok
I don't know what's going on

I also went on a walk yesterday to get gum (and the BATTERYYYY)
-Trident wild blueberry twist (smells like a blueberry muffin!!! So yummy) -3.5cals per piece, 18 pieces per pack
-Trident layers wild strawberry/tangy citrus (haven't opened yet but I'm sure it'll be great cause the other Trident layers one I got was AMAZING!) -4cals per piece, 14 pieces per pack
-Extra Dessert Delights Mint Chocolate Chip (god. Just god. That's all) -5cals per stick, 15 sticks per pack
-EDD Strawberry Shortcake (yummyyy) -5cals per stick, 15 sticks per pack

I feel like I'm turning into a gum connoisseur XD

The walk burned 180-ish cals, according to the interwebz. So... 608 net cals for the day. Not including all the random exercises I did in the evening cause I was upset.

I didn't mention this, but D and I got back together. We were texting last night and he was like "it's me or your weight loss thing, you can't have both" and I picked the weight loss. Then I decided I don't want to live without him, so I was like "I choose you" (POKEMON! I CHOOSE YOU, PIKACHU!) and I decided I'll just lie to him about what I eat and if I exercise and how much I weigh. I hope that'll work.

Hope you all are doing well <3

Exams pt2

Wow. 30 followers. Thank you <3

Elara, thank you =) The reason I was considering OSU is that I like the idea of disappearing. And from what I've heard about MU, it's pretty food-centric too... like all the students there said the food is amazing. I don't really care though. It should be easy to avoid it. What's wrong with the Greek system at MU? They said it like... it's not that big there.

Night Flower thanks <3

Amber 17 is old? >.> Thanks XD

Skinny Love, I can't juice fast because my parents would notice and get pissed at me =/ They freak out so much if I don't eat

The Girl With The Chaotic Mind thanks =)


Well I'm done with exams. Had 2 yesterday and 2 today. Woot. Piano lesson today. Yayyy.... not. Whatever. I don't care.

I had a clementine yesterday and threw it up and haven't eaten since then. And I've been really dizzy. Which is weird, cause I used to fast for days in the summer and I'd just be super happy and everything... Argh. I don't know. Maybe it's the cold and lack of sleep?

My stepdad is downstairs and it sounds like he's snorting coke or something >.> Ugh it's quite annoying.


Hope you all are doing well <3

Exams

Are this week. Ahh!!! I have 4 - French, Sociology, English, and Physics =)

A Girl with Tiny Intentions, they are really yummy =) Trident Layers is god... no joke.

Night Flower, oh my god that story made me laugh XD I haven't tried yelling at mine... maybe I should do that when my parents aren't home to question my sanity...

I'm probably (hopefully!) getting a new battery for my scale this week.

Um.. I had something to say. Oh! Ok, this will probably kill part of my anonymity, but... I got into all the colleges I applied to! Miami University is the dream and I got in and I think I'm going there =D The campus is gorgeous. But I feel like I should visit OSU just in case I realize I want to go to a big school. You know? But yeah =) I'm excited

<3

Fat

I am =)
So I found a scale. But. When I stepped on it. It didn't work. WTF? Am I really that heavy??? It's a digital scale and like I checked for a power switch or something and there was nothing and it wasn't lighting up when I stepped on it... I hope whoever is up there is laughing right now because some good needs to come out of this.

Amber, yay thank you =D The debate isn't really optional though XD Everyone taking sociology has to do it. Blah... Still haven't done any work on mine. Woot.

Night Flower, haha thank you. I hope you have a loveleh year too <3

A Girl with Tiny Intentions, yay I made someone laugh! ^_^ I feel accomplished

I'm in a very grateful, loving mood. No idea why.

I went on a walk today. 2 hours in the freezing fucking cold... But when I got home (with 4 packs of gum and another RS membership card.. yeah I'm a nerd SHUT UP. Gum = trident layer stuff (apple/pineapple), Extra dessert delights in strawberry shortcake and key lime pie, and Orbit watermelon mint (I think.... watermelon mist? Something like that) I love gum =)) and warmed up under a blanket for about an hour with my book (Shadow Puppets by Orson Scott Card) I was really happy =D

No exercise today though =(

Sunday exercise - 340 (each) leg lifts and crunches

Yay look at the fat pig!


Blah blah blah... I have to do a video for history this week. Due Thursday. Fuckkkkk. I'm too fat to be in a video >.<

Meh

Love you
~Vampire

2011

First of all.. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I hope all of you have a lovely 2011 because you all definitely deserve it =) And no, I don't care if you don't think you do. I say you do and that should be enough =)

This year is my graduation year... the year I turn 18... wow!
Last night was... meh. My stepdad dragged me to this party-ish thing with all these shooters and we ended up using balloons as targets for an airsoft gun. It was actually quite fun =) I can't wait to get back out to the shooting range and shoot a real gun though! Haha. So my stepdad and the guy he gave a ride to got drunk so I got to drive them home... That was fun, especially since I had no idea where I was going and I was depending on 2 drunk guys to tell me how to get home... Woot!

I've been like sleeping all day >.< Ugh. It's horrible. Though to be honest, I didn't get home until like 4am and I stayed up reading for a bit. Also, I barely slept at all the past few nights. So I guess it makes sense.

I did 306 leg lifts and crunches (each, not like total) on Thursday =) Not as good Friday (yesterday)... only 153 each =( and none today... yay I'm a fatty. And I drank last night and had a full cal mountain dew (which I threw up part of on purpose... yep less than 24 hours into the year and I'm already being a stupid bulimic. Why am I not surprised?


Oooo ooo comments! ^_^ Comments make me SO FREAKING HAPPY. You have no idea =) Actually wait.. you bloggers might >.> Haha. Love youuu!

Cee, first of all... that's really cool that you've switched your blog from WP to Blogger o.O How did you do that? O.o *is easily distracted* Also, you're recovering? That's amazing =) I hope you do recover! <3 <3 Good luck <3

unbeautiful, k first of all... you need a new name >.< Cause I hate calling you unbeautiful, cause you totally aren't =) You're gorgeous. Good luck staying cut-free <3 and all your other resolutions. I know you can do it <3

Night Flower, I'm so happy you're back ^_^ I missed you! I am ok-ish (haha), thank you ^_^

<3 Aww I love you girls. You make me feel so cared about ^_^

Haha I sound like an idiot right now, don't I? I'm sorry about that... I'm just so out of it and everything's super surreal. I think it's cause I basically slept all of today.. Haha.

So I have a debate next week for sociology and I haven't done ANY work on it. At all. Hm. I should probably do something about that.


Once again, I hope all of you lovely ladies (and guys) have a wonderful 2011 <3

New Years

I haven't figured out what I'm doing for it yet. The idea of mixing every pill I can find and vodka is tempting though... But I think I should make new years resolutions. I know it's total shit, but I like traditions. Haha. So... new years resolutions

-Get under 100lbs (should be easy... and much easier to know if I achieve it if I get a freaking scale... GAH)
-Stop sticking my fingers down my throat
-Stop falling for guys

3 is a nice number =)

Haha so I've barely been sleeping lately... If anyone's an insomniac and wants a midnight (or 4am XD) texting buddy, comment or email me... immortalvampiricshadow@gmail.com. Or if you just want a texting buddy.


So something... odd has been happening recently. Example: I was exercising last night and I really didn't want to do any more crunches and it was like I was arguing with this voice in my head and eventually I gave in. It was kinda...scary. I always thought I was in control

My stepdad keeps saying he doesn't think I eat =/ Sigh. This means he's happily stuffing food down my throat whenever he sees me. I'm already too fat =/ This is killing me

Sorry about how scattered this post is >.< I just don't really have anything interesting to talk about

Blah

Do any of you have new years resolutions? =)

MD

So I'm in MD. I'm kinda nervous about blogging from here, but I NEED to blog!

Konrad, who are you? o.O

For those who don't know.... The Kindle is Amazon's reader. It's this little device you can read books on. And listen to music and go on the internet, but mostly it's for reading. I already read Fight Club on it and now I'm reading this interesting book called Restricted (Yep it's an ED one). I adore it =D

We're (my stepmom and I, my dad is sulking in his room cause he hates metal) listening to metal... it's calming =) Metallica, Dragonforce, Black Sabbath, Rob Zombie, AC/DC, Aerosmith... the good stuff!

Ugh there's been so much eating recently. And not anywhere enough exercise. We went to the park last night and I was acting like a hyper kid and I ran and it felt so perfect, so right... I love running =)

I got a cute new black coat from Guess for Christmas. And a pile of money haha. Um... yeah XD Rest of the stuff isn't worth mentioning.

Sigh.

I miss my computer! I'm on a Mac! The horror O.O

<3

Love, Vampire

kindle

I can blog from this baby. Fuck yeah.
Vampire is happy.

Miss you lovely ladies <3

Tortured bliss

Fuck if I know what I'm talking about.

I can feel myself gaining and I hate myself for it. My mom's leaving tomorrow before I get home from school. She's going to Russia for 2 weeks. So it'll just be my stepdad and me here. I hope he doesn't make me eat. He probably won't, but who knows?

chaotic beauty <3

unbeautiful haha thank you that made me smile =) And yeah, I love killing hill and ice giants on Runescape ^_^ Hill giants are like level 28, so great for ranging.. *nerd*

Thank you for the comments, ladies =) I really appreciate it.

My stepsiblings are coming over today (any minute actually) and my mom expects me to eat with them... Sigh. I'll just tell her I had a big breakfast or something.


I've kind of... forgotten about D. No, not forgotten. Just like... my mind has, if that makes sense? All that matters now is losing weight, exercising, avoiding food, GETTING TO A FUCKING SCALE.... Who has time for boys?

He keeps trying to get back with me and he's being really persistent, but I don't have time for boys. I'm too fat to be in a relationship.


I keep reading on blogs/PT (yeah I'm back on PT! Though I might leave... ugh... whatever, not the point) that like... girls want to keep their boobs and butt and stuff even when they lose weight. Because they want to be attractive to guys.

Am I just fucked up cause I don't want to seem attractive to guys at all? I just want to disappear from their sight... from everyone... I don't deserve to live, to breathe, to consume anything. I'm too fat, disgusting, stupid, pathetic, ugly.... I could go on for ages.


Though I'm sure you girls don't read my blog to hear be bitching about life (not really sure why you read it... but hey, I have followers! YAY!) so I'm just gonna stop here...

<3

Numb (I feel so numb...)

unbeautiful.. the pills thing is more for legal reasons than anything else. >.< Temptation's always there and I can quite easily hurt myself without anything besides my nails. And I'm not laughing about your names ^_^ Well... not to your face anyway =P

D and I are over. Sigh. Ah well. Whatever. I'll find someone else. Or just be alone. I have a bag of almonds in my room. Not really sure how that happened... I keep forgetting stuff. I'll be somewhere and I'll have no memory of getting there. I had my calc exam yesterday. Hahaha. It was a fucking joke. I don't know shit.

Mom's still on this eating thing with me. I think that's how the almonds got here.

I really thought he was the one. I can't believe it's over... completely over... Is it really over?

But it is. He keeps saying he knew he would lose me, he wants me back and he'll do anything... but it can never happen. No matter what.

I'm sorry for being so fucking emo =/

Until It Sleeps (S&M) by Metallica is fucking amazing

J'aimerais tellement

I don't know.

Comments make me happy =)

Jenn and unbeautiful, yeah we can be friends on RS ^_^ My name's UndeadMango... Don't laugh -.- I'm probably changing it soon anyway XD And yeah... just for the record, it really is worth paying if you play a lot, cause the members only skills/quests freaking OWN. You have no idea!

Iris, thank you ^_^ I did enjoy mine! This is my last year of snow days... college next year =( Ahh...

I broke a nail today >.< It was all bloody and gross.

So... D has said I should blog about him. And since I love him to death (shut up shut up shut up he's not like the other guys I know he's not... he's perfect) I decided I'll do that ^_^ Hmm... what about him though? Besides how adorable and sweet and loving and perfect he is... Haha. I'm sure you lovely readers would get bored reading that. Though for the record, I've never blogged that about ANYONE else.

Hmm

Calc final is tomorrow. I'm going to fail and I don't give a fuck as long as it's not a WF.

I'm fat. That's about all I know about my weight. Sigh. I got more pills. They're tempting, but D is more tempting so I'll stay away from them for now =)

I'm thinking I shouldn't carry them in my purse (at school) though... Could get in trouble. Not like they search our stuff, and they definitely wouldn't search mine cause I'm a perfect student, but ya know...

XD

Ugh my English teacher is being a creeper. He remembers everything I say... It scares me =/

And on that note...

They Always Come Back by I Am Ghost <3

I love you and D <3

Byes! <3 <3

-Vampire

Snow Day

The plan for today (Yay I have a plan!)
-Clean (to make the parents happeh and give me something to do)
-Runescape cause I'm a nerd
-Reading
-Sprite Zero (have I mentioned my love for this? IT'S SO FUCKING AMAZING!)

Hmm.... I think that's it =)

Elara, Runescape isn't free for me XD I pay for a membership cause... well, it's 100x better with a membership!

Thank you for the kind comments, Elara and Sophie <3

So I've been thinking... people binge when they don't get enough sleep (at least, I'm sure that's at least one major cause of it), so instead of stuffing calories down your throat, why can't you just take some sleep meds (NOT OVERDOSE!) and sleep? It's good for you and most of us probably don't get enough sleep anyway... Yeah this is probably pathetically obvious but you chose to read my blog so now you have to deal with my stupidity ^_^ Or I suppose you could leave, but that would make me sad =(

I'm currently listening to Soldiers of the Wasteland by Dragonforce =) I love it


And I want to say this to anyone who comments my blog... I will follow your blog if you comment mine (and actually read it, obviously XD) unless you don't know how to capitalize, spell reasonably well (everyone, including me, makes mistakes sometimes...), or use proper punctuation and grammar. So if your blog is "hai todai i eated a pice offf stoof" then I'm really not going to waste my time deciphering it... XD I just wanted to say that. In case someone gets offended that I'm not following them. But I think I do follow most of my (few >.< But very much loved and appreciated!) commenters...

Love all of you lovely ladies! (And any guys who read this too, of course ^_^)

Plan

What's that? Haha. I don't really plan anymore. I'm too busy not knowing what I'm doing to plan.

Iris, no I haven't read Duma Key... but I'll definitely get it with my lunch money when I go to the airport! Thanks! ^_^

Night Flower, first... I MISS YOU ALREADY <3 <3 <3 Sigh... truth about the toes thing XD That's what warm socks/boots are for ^_^

dearestana, miss you <3 You should blog more ^_^ And so true about them never being small enough =/

Current weight: 500kg

Calc ended last week. I just have an exam this Friday.

This one teacher at my school died last Friday. It's kinda... scary. She was really, really fat. 30 years old. And by fat, I mean like her back was enormous and like there was a hump of fat... If that makes sense? Definitely morbidly obese. And she died during an operation cause of like a blood clot they think. I don't really know how to react. I didn't know her, but I saw her in the halls a lot. My teachers are really upset about it though.

I'm just going to go play Runescape and forget anything happened.

Current background:

Switch

Iris, yeah Stephen King is awesome <3 Haha. The book Insomnia's pretty good....

Elara, hey =D Thank you for the comment! That was really sweet =) Your blog looks nice, I think I'll follow it =)

Night Flower, haha we have had snow! Friday morning it was so pretty! I always leave a little before 7 (ok, now that I think about it, it's actually 6:45am....) and when I was outside the sky was this like.. velvety dark blue and there were snowflakes just drifting down. It was so beautiful and peaceful. Well, it looked peaceful, since I had my Metallica turned up really loud.... Haha. Yeah I adore snow <3


So I've decided to weigh myself in kg next time I get to a scale. Why? Because my goal weight (30kg) is in kg.... Er, ok, that's kinda obvious from the parentheses... I swear I'm not trying to insult your intelligence! I'm just having a stupid moment.

Hmm nothing exciting really. I have far too much homework and exams... Ugh. 2 more weeks until I go to Maryland! I'm not sure if I should be excited or not...

Ugh. I feel so fat. I probably weigh like 5000kg. Yep.

<3

Be careful what you wish for

You just might get it.

Sigh.

Apparently I can't eat without feeling really nauseated now. I have no idea why. I guess I shouldn't complain, but it's kinda scaring me.

Hm. A cute guy found my old WordPress blog (vampiricshadow.wordpress.com) and he wrote a poem about how he wishes I wouldn't hurt myself and how he can't live without me.... it was really sweet, even if I don't believe most of it XD

Not much to say.

Thanksgiving wasn't too bad. My stepbrothers (18 and 20 something) were there and they kept distracting my parents by being boys, so I got away with half a salad and a glass of wine. =) Have I mentioned that being vegan in a meat-loving family is awesome?

<3

Thanksgiving

It's going to suck.

So last night, my mom ran into the mom of my former classmate. Oh wait.. apparently she's not my former classmate anymore though because she switched to my school (Feel free to skip this part... or any of the post for that matter, but I just want to clarify this for the curious: We used to go to a private school together - 42 kids total in our graduating class, so everyone was really close. Then I decided to go to a public school for high school. Apparently this girl has now transfered to the high school I go to). Oh, and she's a grade below me now, even though we were in the same class back at the private school. Why? Because she was hospitalized for anorexia.

We were never really best friends, but we were in the same clique in elementary school before I decided they were too preppy and I went off to form my own clique. And I was just like... fuck what just happened? She was always so perfect, so happy. The perfect preppy school-loving athlete. I mean, seriously. Everyone was jealous of her and she was always so nice to everyone. And she was anorexic in high school?? I guess it was bound to happen. But still. It just really messed me up.

And now I'm reading blogs written by these idiots (NOT ALL OF YOU ARE IDIOTS. IN FACT, MOST OF YOU AREN'T... this is just being addressed to the insensitive piles of merde who ARE idiots) who are all "anorexia is a lifestyle, not a disease! It's a choice!" Fuck you. Just fuck you. A lifestyle does not take over your mind and kill you or put you in the hospital for so long that you have to drop down a grade.

Wasted (by Marya Hornbacher) is NOT thinspirational. How the hell do people get that??? It's about torture, death, pain, lies... Or is that thinspirational now?

Fuck. Some people are fucking idiots.

Yeah I'm kinda pissed off right now

Baby

My stepsister and her husband and their baby are here this weekend. Sigh. So that means I get to eat with them, because that's what families do! Oh fuck that... But I exercised after dinner (which included wine, thank fucking God), so hopefully it wasn't too much damage. So yesterday I had...

10 almonds
half an apple
A banana
12 pieces of whole wheat pasta with tomato sauce
handful of salad with DRESSING (ugh)
glass of wine

Yay I'm a fatty!
Sigh
What will today bring? This week? This year?

Meh...

<3

Thanks for reading this, stranger

Fin

The teachers who used to love me see me as their worst student now. I can see it in the way they look at me, the way they talk to me and avoid looking at me. I'm a disappointment. I'm just another one of those seniors who gives up.

Sleep? What's sleep? Why would I ever need it? I ask myself as I drink my diet coke at 1am. Go to school and sleep. What did we do today? We had a quiz? I don't remember taking any quizzes...

I used to be a perfect student. Every teacher's dream student. I didn't really try, it mostly came naturally to me.

Now? I just don't give a fuck.

My Stephen King books are more interesting (I'm currently reading the Drawing of the Three)

Sigh.

Whatever.

It's not like anyone cares.

She made me eat vegan mac and cheese today. And almonds.

And she didn't let me throw up.

Fuck.

Rifle

Hmm... So I'm going to do a bit of advertising. Why? Because I've found something that makes me happy. Appleseed (click me!) It's basically this rifle/history thing. It's fun! There was one 3 hours away this weekend and my stepdad and I went and it was fun. I got to spend a day (it's a two-day thing, but I spent Sunday just hanging out and reading (The Gunslinger by Stephen King) and doing homework) playing with a rifle =D On my first try, I hit this square that was the size of a person's head if the person was 250meters away... So that was pretty exciting! Ok, it was pure luck.. but ya know.

This isn't mine! Just a Google Images thing, but yeah... XD It's that square on the left. You actually shoot from 25meters away, but the *size* is as if it's 250meters away. So. Yes.

Then we did these things called AQT's (Army Qualifying Tests, I think) and if you get like, over a certain score (200 something I think) you got a little Rifleman badge and it basically means you're fucking sweet.

Yeah that's it =) I failed miserably on mine, but it's ok! Usually takes a lot of practice to do well.

Night_Flower, thank you! =) I love your like header pic on your blog btw... It's so pretty! <3

So I just realized there's a link to my blog on PrettyThin... I'm excited =) Makes me happeh. And I have 12 followers <3 <3

This weekend I was doing 170 cal days. 140cals of coke and 30cals of miso soup. Worked perfectly, though I was/am all dizzy... Ah well! It's worth it. My legs are covered in blood. Ugh. Oh well. I like the pain. It's comforting.

I can't wait until I graduate and get out of here. Ugh

S&M (Metallica...) is heavenly. Metal + symphony. So... perfect. Listening to Devil's Dance right now. Wherever I May Roam is better. I'm referring to the s&m versions of these two btw... XD

<3

If you read this, you're awesome!