September 17, 2017

9/17/17

Why do good people have to die?
He has cancer and he's been in the hospital for over a month now.
It's not fair.
I'm drinking and sleeping around to deal with it.
I should be a better friend but I can't fucking handle it.
There's this sweet boy I fucked a week ago after he bought me a drink.
I would like him. He's a gentleman and quite a lovely guy.
But I'm in love with someone who's dying from cancer.
Fuck fuck fuck.

September 03, 2017

9/3/17

I'm a bit sick right now. I think it's just a cold but it also comes with a pretty annoying cough so... yay?

I'm in the process of trying to get through the boyfriend's head that I do not want to be in a relationship. He still calls me his girlfriend and uses other pet names.
What do I have to do, fuck someone else right in front of him??

August 27, 2017

8/27/17

I'm pretty sure my neighbors don't sleep? They were slamming doors and yelling at like 2:30am last night while I was getting drunk, and then they woke me up at like 7:30am. Sometimes they wake me up at 5am.
I'm considering investing in heavy duty sleeping pills. 3-4 hours of sleep per night with a full time job and not keeping food down is not what I need right now.

August 20, 2017

8/20/17

I got a raise. $11.50/hr now. How exciting.

My boyfriend still refuses to acknowledge that I want to break up with him. I'm not sure how he doesn't get it. I don't even try to hide my irritation with him or the fact that I don't want to be with him.

I think he's just using me for my money. I work 35-40 hours a week. He works 20-25 and makes like $9/hr.

Not my fault he isn't trying to better himself. Why does he insist on dragging me down with him?

August 13, 2017

8/13/2017

Hm. Not sure what to say really. I've decided to take days off from eating to relieve stress. Who needs to eat every day? I have to eat today but tomorrow will be a blissful break from that <3

August 06, 2017

8/6/17

My coworker made a joke about me self harming last night. That was not what I needed. I'm really trying to quit and I'm doing pretty well. It's been a few months since my last slip up.
This is the same coworker who is one of those slutty *gamer girls* who plays one or two games a little bit and thinks she's a hardcore gamer.
Ugh.

July 30, 2017

7/30/17

I'm in this strange place where I'm slowly but very surely falling toward the "I don't care. What's the point of eating ever again?" mindset. The scary part is that it's starting to slip into drinking as well. The act of drinking water even seems greedy and selfish and unclean.

On the positive side, my sprained foot is healing well I think. It's hurting a lot less.