May 21, 2017

5/21/17

I work 6 days a week, 30+ hours. I realize that's not much for most people but that's more than I can handle, especially since it's around food/alcohol.

I'm basically constantly drunk/tipsy.

I feel like I have no control over anything.

May 14, 2017

5/14/17

The boyfriend was out of town for mother's day weekend so last night I got absolutely fucked up on 2 bottles of wine. So I didn't sleep last night. I got like 2-3 hours of sleep after 7am. I don't remember how much since I kept waking up.

I've been throwing up a lot too. Half on purpose, half not. I just can't stand having anything inside me.

And I've been taking my valium like, randomly, just because I feel like it. I told my boyfriend I flushed it down the toilet. It's hiding with my feminine hygiene products, wrapped up in paper.

I don't know what's going on anymore but I think I clearly need help. I just don't have time, with work and shit, to find a therapist.