January 22, 2017

1/22/17

I don't get people who are pro ana. Who the fuck sits down and says "I want to develop and eating disorder"?

Today I told my boyfriend that I've been making myself throw up 2-3 times a day. Fuck.

I've also decided to go off the pill. I don't give a fuck if my doctor gets piss-y about it. She can suck a dick. I mean, nothing against her, but I'm so tired of all these goddamn pills in my life. Prozac and pain killers and birth control. Can we fucking not.

January 15, 2017

1/15/17

I've worked 50 hours in the past 2 weeks. This is a lot for me. It feels good but I got a bit obsessive about it and felt like, I needed to work more. Even though I already work more than most of my coworkers.

I got drunk last night (3 beers and 3/4ths of a bottle of wine). So I feel awful today. And my boyfriend's parents are coming up today. I have no excuses for not going out with them. And they always insist on taking us out to eat somewhere. Fuck. I'm terrified.

January 08, 2017

1/8/2017

I didn't drink last night. That was actually an achievement for me. What in fuck. When did my life turn into this, where not drinking for one night is something to be celebrated?

I lost 1.5lbs since yesterday morning. No idea how that happened. I'm not complaining.

I'm fat as fuck.

I still have periods. What the fuck.

Can the birth control pill force your body to have periods even if it shouldn't?
Nah I'm just fucking fat.

Sorry for swearing so much. I'm just frustrated with life.