Motivation

I have apples, hot sauce, cucumbers, green tea, coffee, and water. This will work goddamnit.

Edit:

I keep thinking of things I want to say in this blog during the day. Thoughts and such. Nothing consequential. I just use this blog as a diary of sorts, in case you can't tell.

I was watching Gossip Girl earlier. First episode of the second season. Blair was waiting for Chuck to say he loves her. It got me thinking... some girls (a lot? only a few? I'm not sure...) wait to hear the words "I love you". Me? I wait to hear the words "kneel, pet". ...sometimes I think I'm messed up.

T_T

What do you guys think? What words do you want to hear? Romantically speaking... 

Still on my fucking period.

Le sigh.

Fat

No comment. Don't want to talk about it.

Oh and I'm still sick. Potentially sicker. Why? Because last night, we had to go rescue a haunted house. We normally don't go to this place on Sunday nights because we want a break and Sundays are their least busy days. But last night, there were only about 5 people there (to scare customers), so we decided - hey let's go help! Sadly, this place has no heating and there's nowhere warm to go nearby. Which isn't as bad as it sounds, because it is still warmer inside than outside thanks to how crowded it is (meaning really small, narrow rooms/hallways), all the animatronics running (I'd assume they produce some heat...), and how much moving around we have to do. Still... cold as hell. I can barely talk today T_T

Anywayyy... now that I'm done complaining.

I think I need to start posting my weight/intake on here... should I do that?

Pictures

Oh and this is me. Just one picture. I'm fat. I'm sorry.

And to apologize for you guys seeing my nasty upper legs...

More happy pictures!

Thank you for reading!

Smiles!

53.8kg before the party.

Thank you for the birthday comments btw. =D =D =D I love you two! <3

My birthday party was alright... my friend (who has a crush on me T_T) brought her baby. Normally I would  rage, but she has the most perfect little girl ever! That baby is so inquisitive (and apparently mature for her age - her doctor said that today at her check-up) and sweet and obviously healthy, but the only time she cries is when she misses her mom/dad (which is rare, they love her to pieces) and she's barely messy. And she's so quiet the rest of the time. She seems so smart... Ahaha sorry I just hate little kids normally (not hate but... ugh) because they're so loud and shit and I'm like... d'aw this one's quiet!

Oh and I got into that university in Ohio, so.. woot I'm going back to school. Ahaha wasn't sure I would get in because I took one class there in high school and failed it miserably (senioritis + math = bad combination) and they want their transfer students to have a minimum of a 2.5 gpa and mine was 2.49 something because I was lazy as shit second semester at Miami. (And yes, it was second semester. I was on Dean's List first semester T_T) But all is good!

Will commence dieting asap though... now that the party is over.

Happy birthday to me...

Woot. I'm 19 today.

And still fat as fuck.

53.6kg at my last weigh-in (yesterday).

All I want for my birthday is to be happy... I don't think this will ever happen. =/

Sorry for being so depressing.

Sicker today T_T though when I woke up this morning, the boy made me hot tea with lemon in it. =D Tried to get me to take a cold medication, but I decided against it cause I don't like being medicated... though I feel so terrible right now, it might be nice to have some relief...

Sick

Terribly sore throat atm... this is usually a precursor to a fever that lasts 2 days. Oh and my birthday's on Friday. Shiiiit.

On the positive side, I drink so much coffee (and not enough water) that I have almost perfect hydration. Ahahaha XD

Oh and I'm super happy right now cause we went shopping today and I got green tea, broccoli (on sale so it was like... uh fuck yeah!), apples, and lemons. YAY! He got himself pasta >_< Oh and I got yummy hot sauce, which goes great with raw broccoli. Yay yay yay.

Did I mention the green tea? =D

So I changed my blog layout/colors...

Felt like I needed a little spring cleaning. Dunno. XD

What do you guys think?

53.6

Apparently the fiance is going to let this bi girl (who's married but has a crush on me o_O) spank me on my birthday. My 19th birthday. >_< It's this Friday. I'm kinda scared... XD

In other news... er, there is none. Won't be able to weigh myself this week cause I don't think I'll have any time alone at home without the fiance being here. Le sigh. Hopefully I don't gain too much. T_T

54.0

Woot?

Haven't weighed myself today... probably should do that... XD Ugh all my plans for today got messed up. Fiance was supposed to go to work but his friend didn't pick him up (yet?)... sigh. Dunno. I suppose they still have a chance. Haha.

How is everyone today?