January 22, 2011


That's how many kg I weigh. Can you say fucking FATASS? But I'll get it down. I will. Watch me. Ugh fuck I'm so disgustingly fat...

Hm so there's actually a lot to talk about for this post...

small, Whoa o.O I'm never eating almonds again! That's gross.... pistachios it is =)

So... two lovely bloggers gave me an award =)
Night Flower and Amber gave me this...

I guess the rules are write 10 things about yourself and pass it on to 5 people...

10 things... Hm... My life isn't very exciting >.< I'm sorry...

1. My real name is Margarita, though I go by Mango in my real life.

2. I used to have a white German Shepherd until my parents gave her away because they didn't want to take care of her. I might post pictures of her on here later =) She was beautiful.

3. I still secretly like the Newsboys >.> I grew up on them.

4. There are nuts and skittles stashed in my tshirt drawer right now. I won't eat them, but they're there just to hang out and stuff.

5. I text a lot of people that I've never met. I trust them more than I trust the people I know in real life. (This is starting to feel like PostSecret)

6. I used to be blonde until I dyed my hair dark brown a few times. Now I'm dirty blonde. >.<

7. Oreos are my biggest weakness. (But I'm determined to show the who's in charge so I'm having my mom buy them when she goes to the store XD)

8. I bite my lips. A lot. I probably shouldn't, but I seem to need to constantly bite something? I hate it... I'm trying to stop.

9. I love books. All of them except 4. The Twilight books. They're the only books I have mistreated. I threw them into a big trash can during locker clean up day at school one year.

10. I love following vegan food blogs because it's wonderful food porn.

I'm sorry that my 10 things suck so much >.<

So... 5 people to pass this on to!
SophieA Girl with Tiny IntentionsAddicted to ThinSkinny Love, and Elara.

So this week. Sigh. My best friend's bf tried to kill himself and ended up in the hospital. Then my best friend broke up with him cause apparently he doesn't want to date a 14 year old. I think he's being a dick... you don't break up with someone right after they try to kill themselves. And he already has a new guy that he likes... And yes, the new guy likes him too. It pisses me off.
To add to this, my little brother's girlfriend (he's not actually biologically related to me... or adopted... he's just a good friend) also tried to kill herself by ODing. She's also in the hospital. Sigh.

It's been a bad week I guess.

Dylan and I kept fighting because all I was doing was b/p-ing (mostly for the purge... I didn't want the food) during all this and he hates that I do that and... ugh. I think we'll be ok though. I hope we'll be ok. He still says he loves me. =)

To counteract the shittiness of this post, I'm posting pics!

Vampire story cover designed by my friend =) I came up with the title, he came up with the picture. We were bored and it made me smile.

And a lovely picture =) I think it describes the way my mind sometimes is really well. Like there's something physically holding me back from touching food (with the intent of eating it).

And with that, I leave you. Goodbye, my lovely readers <3

January 16, 2011

5 day weekend

I love how my post titles revolve around school-related stuff, even though I despise that place...

Morrigan, I LOVE YOUR NAME! >.< Anywayyy =) Thanks <3 I think I failed my exams, but it's only 1/5th of the semester grade, so it's ok XD

Skinny Love, yeah I read your blog >.> I'm sorry that you had to cut your fast short =( I know how much that sucks

I haven't really been doing anything exciting. I got a new battery for the scale (MY scale now), so I'll get that in and weigh myself as soon as my parents are gone. I'm so nervous =( I probably weigh like 65kg. Oh... I put my goals to the right > on my blog. In kg cause 30kg is my goal. Have I explained that? It was the weight my aunt was when she died from anorexia, but I think she was way taller than me. It just seems like a nice number (66lbs for those who don't understand kg), though I wouldn't mind going lower.

I epically binged yesterday and I'm paying the price for it today =(
-half a banana -60cals
-bag of skittles (a 1 serving bag) -230cals
-miso -30cals
-17 pistachios -??50cals? Ok just googled it... says 1 pistachio is 4cals, so 68cals
-1 apple -100cals
-rice with fucking FRIED MUSHROOMS AND ONIONS. WTF??? -300cals (estimate)
Total: 788

Wait... what? ...Under 800cals and I could swear it's the worst all day binge ever?
I don't know what's going on

I also went on a walk yesterday to get gum (and the BATTERYYYY)
-Trident wild blueberry twist (smells like a blueberry muffin!!! So yummy) -3.5cals per piece, 18 pieces per pack
-Trident layers wild strawberry/tangy citrus (haven't opened yet but I'm sure it'll be great cause the other Trident layers one I got was AMAZING!) -4cals per piece, 14 pieces per pack
-Extra Dessert Delights Mint Chocolate Chip (god. Just god. That's all) -5cals per stick, 15 sticks per pack
-EDD Strawberry Shortcake (yummyyy) -5cals per stick, 15 sticks per pack

I feel like I'm turning into a gum connoisseur XD

The walk burned 180-ish cals, according to the interwebz. So... 608 net cals for the day. Not including all the random exercises I did in the evening cause I was upset.

I didn't mention this, but D and I got back together. We were texting last night and he was like "it's me or your weight loss thing, you can't have both" and I picked the weight loss. Then I decided I don't want to live without him, so I was like "I choose you" (POKEMON! I CHOOSE YOU, PIKACHU!) and I decided I'll just lie to him about what I eat and if I exercise and how much I weigh. I hope that'll work.

Hope you all are doing well <3

January 12, 2011

Exams pt2

Wow. 30 followers. Thank you <3

Elara, thank you =) The reason I was considering OSU is that I like the idea of disappearing. And from what I've heard about MU, it's pretty food-centric too... like all the students there said the food is amazing. I don't really care though. It should be easy to avoid it. What's wrong with the Greek system at MU? They said it like... it's not that big there.

Night Flower thanks <3

Amber 17 is old? >.> Thanks XD

Skinny Love, I can't juice fast because my parents would notice and get pissed at me =/ They freak out so much if I don't eat

The Girl With The Chaotic Mind thanks =)

Well I'm done with exams. Had 2 yesterday and 2 today. Woot. Piano lesson today. Yayyy.... not. Whatever. I don't care.

I had a clementine yesterday and threw it up and haven't eaten since then. And I've been really dizzy. Which is weird, cause I used to fast for days in the summer and I'd just be super happy and everything... Argh. I don't know. Maybe it's the cold and lack of sleep?

My stepdad is downstairs and it sounds like he's snorting coke or something >.> Ugh it's quite annoying.

Hope you all are doing well <3

January 09, 2011


Are this week. Ahh!!! I have 4 - French, Sociology, English, and Physics =)

A Girl with Tiny Intentions, they are really yummy =) Trident Layers is god... no joke.

Night Flower, oh my god that story made me laugh XD I haven't tried yelling at mine... maybe I should do that when my parents aren't home to question my sanity...

I'm probably (hopefully!) getting a new battery for my scale this week.

Um.. I had something to say. Oh! Ok, this will probably kill part of my anonymity, but... I got into all the colleges I applied to! Miami University is the dream and I got in and I think I'm going there =D The campus is gorgeous. But I feel like I should visit OSU just in case I realize I want to go to a big school. You know? But yeah =) I'm excited


January 03, 2011


I am =)
So I found a scale. But. When I stepped on it. It didn't work. WTF? Am I really that heavy??? It's a digital scale and like I checked for a power switch or something and there was nothing and it wasn't lighting up when I stepped on it... I hope whoever is up there is laughing right now because some good needs to come out of this.

Amber, yay thank you =D The debate isn't really optional though XD Everyone taking sociology has to do it. Blah... Still haven't done any work on mine. Woot.

Night Flower, haha thank you. I hope you have a loveleh year too <3

A Girl with Tiny Intentions, yay I made someone laugh! ^_^ I feel accomplished

I'm in a very grateful, loving mood. No idea why.

I went on a walk today. 2 hours in the freezing fucking cold... But when I got home (with 4 packs of gum and another RS membership card.. yeah I'm a nerd SHUT UP. Gum = trident layer stuff (apple/pineapple), Extra dessert delights in strawberry shortcake and key lime pie, and Orbit watermelon mint (I think.... watermelon mist? Something like that) I love gum =)) and warmed up under a blanket for about an hour with my book (Shadow Puppets by Orson Scott Card) I was really happy =D

No exercise today though =(

Sunday exercise - 340 (each) leg lifts and crunches

Yay look at the fat pig!

Blah blah blah... I have to do a video for history this week. Due Thursday. Fuckkkkk. I'm too fat to be in a video >.<


Love you

January 01, 2011


First of all.. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I hope all of you have a lovely 2011 because you all definitely deserve it =) And no, I don't care if you don't think you do. I say you do and that should be enough =)

This year is my graduation year... the year I turn 18... wow!
Last night was... meh. My stepdad dragged me to this party-ish thing with all these shooters and we ended up using balloons as targets for an airsoft gun. It was actually quite fun =) I can't wait to get back out to the shooting range and shoot a real gun though! Haha. So my stepdad and the guy he gave a ride to got drunk so I got to drive them home... That was fun, especially since I had no idea where I was going and I was depending on 2 drunk guys to tell me how to get home... Woot!

I've been like sleeping all day >.< Ugh. It's horrible. Though to be honest, I didn't get home until like 4am and I stayed up reading for a bit. Also, I barely slept at all the past few nights. So I guess it makes sense.

I did 306 leg lifts and crunches (each, not like total) on Thursday =) Not as good Friday (yesterday)... only 153 each =( and none today... yay I'm a fatty. And I drank last night and had a full cal mountain dew (which I threw up part of on purpose... yep less than 24 hours into the year and I'm already being a stupid bulimic. Why am I not surprised?

Oooo ooo comments! ^_^ Comments make me SO FREAKING HAPPY. You have no idea =) Actually wait.. you bloggers might >.> Haha. Love youuu!

Cee, first of all... that's really cool that you've switched your blog from WP to Blogger o.O How did you do that? O.o *is easily distracted* Also, you're recovering? That's amazing =) I hope you do recover! <3 <3 Good luck <3

unbeautiful, k first of all... you need a new name >.< Cause I hate calling you unbeautiful, cause you totally aren't =) You're gorgeous. Good luck staying cut-free <3 and all your other resolutions. I know you can do it <3

Night Flower, I'm so happy you're back ^_^ I missed you! I am ok-ish (haha), thank you ^_^

<3 Aww I love you girls. You make me feel so cared about ^_^

Haha I sound like an idiot right now, don't I? I'm sorry about that... I'm just so out of it and everything's super surreal. I think it's cause I basically slept all of today.. Haha.

So I have a debate next week for sociology and I haven't done ANY work on it. At all. Hm. I should probably do something about that.

Once again, I hope all of you lovely ladies (and guys) have a wonderful 2011 <3