October 23, 2016


I haven't wanted to self harm for the first time in 10 years. This is pretty fucking exciting. My anxiety is still through the roof though. And I  never want to eat. Honestly, the idea of eating like, 500 calories per week and throwing that up is really fucking tempting and it's taking all my self control to be like "no, you're a full time student with a job, you actually need food". Fuck.

I got absolutely shitfaced last night at work. I had a beer, sangria spiked with a shot and a half of vodka, and then I finished a bottle of vodka that had about 3-4 shots left, that my coworker helped me with a tiny bit, but not much. In my defense, it was a dare to finish that bottle. And I had fun. But the point is, I was wasted in front of my coworkers and now I'm embarrassed as hell. 

1 comment:

  1. I'm really glad to hear the new meds are helping! Maybe once you've settled into them for a couple of months, it might be worth asking about something specifically for anxiety.

    Getting shitfaced and wanting to die of embarrassment the next morning is, weirdly enough, a great thing to me. It means you really let loose :)



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