November 11, 2010

Comfortably dizzy

I'm so dizzy these days that I'm used to it. It's just this thing in the background that I have to deal with and not let anyone see. No of course the world isn't spinning what are you talking about I'm perfectly fine smile laugh play with food don't eat don't eat don't eat just dissect it.

Jade, thank you =) This is why I love this world... it's like, someone can relate to what I'm saying, so I'm not so alone....

I wish I could take care of my cuts, but the antibiotic shit in my house has randomly disappeared. Back to soap and water I suppose... But then, that's probably a good thing. I could probably use up a whole tube of it just to cover the cuts I have now.

41% of my page views are on Google Chrome. If you use Chrome, you get a gold star =D


I went to the grocery store today with my stepdad. He called me fat and kept trying to get me to eat. Ugh. And he wouldn't let me get diet coke, just regular. *sob* Apparently diet soda is like, satan? I don't know

So I was wandering around the store staring at fat people and food... Oh so much food I could eat it all and throw it all up and be lovely and empty and sick and disgusting and fat and thin and I just want to go away. I cut my stomach before we left (on purpose, don't worry) and the cuts kept hurting but it's ok because pain reminds me of how horrible and fat and disgusting I am



  1. I'm sorry you feel so bad... what your step-dad said is horrible, and I bet it's not true. You're an amazing person so smile :)!
    I undersand what you mean about the cutting though... I'm sorry you feel that way. I hope you'll be ok. x

  2. I know how you feel, i tend to cut myself to remind me of the same things.. And i HATE it when any kind of adult makes me eat anything thats not on my good food list :(.
    Stay strong babe x


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