January 15, 2012


I'm surprised I'm not 130 with the way I've been eating.



There are a few things I want to say.

First. The bad stuff. Why? Because I want to end on a positive note.

Whenever I'm reading blogs, I get really uncomfortable when there's sexual stuff mentioned. Especially heterosexual stuff.

Okay I have music playing now. City by Hollywood Undead. Not my usual type of music but it's distracting and it reminds me of the ending of Fight Club. God I love that movie. Even the sex in it doesn't bother me. It's amazing.

It's pretty close to my usual music. Eh. I love it. So whatever.


Shit I'm really nervous about this. But I need to get it out.

I'm really fucked up with hetero relationships.

My first and only experience with sexual intercourse (with a male, I don't think lesbians can have intercourse but... okay whatever that's another debate) was with a guy who knew I don't like guys. He did it anyway.

He said it wouldn't have hurt me that much if I had weighed less.

He said I'm a heartless person for hurting him.

Repeat City by Hollywood Undead.

Another good song is Upside Down by Lacuna Coil off their new album Dark Adrenaline. My friend told me I would love that song. He was right. I love him for that. My music taste is really picky. That seems normal. Haha. But I was surprised that he knew my music tastes so well even though we really don't talk about music much.

I'm getting off topic.


I think that's it for the bad thing.

Good news now!

This week I decided that when I reach 117lbs, I'll make it official on Facebook that I like girls. =) I'm so excited! I don't really get the whole concept of rewards for weight loss but at the moment I feel too fat to say "I'm a lesbian" and 117 seems like a nice number, though obviously it's not my ultimate goal at all.

I want to watch Fight Club now.

I'm too sensitive. The smallest thing has me running to the restroom to stick my fingers down my throat.

Oh well.

That's life, eh?


1 comment:

  1. I'm not a stalker I swear, Lol. But I saw your "Master" comment and was reading through your blog to see if there was an explanation for it (i'm a lazy blogger so i tend to not log in and read a lot).

    Anyway. Hell. No. Fri-to. First off, punch that guy in the dick. If he's gone, go find him and punch him right there. Right in the dick. What an asshole!. You are NOT too fat be be able to come out as a Lesbian. I weigh a lot more than you and... well I havent come out as Bi yet but it's not because of my weight, Lol. The point is, try not to connect your weight to who you are on the inside, that leads to bad bad things.

    Losing your virginity doesn't hurt less if you weigh less, it might end up hurting more, no one knows....did anyone do studies on that.. hm... maybe i should google that it actually sounds interesting.. wait. Okay, off topic! I babble.

    I mean to say is you should at least be happy with how you are on the inside if you're having issues with how you look on the outside. I happen to think you are amazing. So... yeah.

    Don't forget the dick-punching. ^.^


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