Drug of Choice = League of Legends

My best friend is obsessed with this game. (League of Legends, known as LoL by the players/friends.) Personally, I don't play it, but the graphics certainly are pretty. =)

Warning: Long, picture-filled post ahead.

Here's a Japanese version of the character named Annie who summoned a demon named Tibbers when she was 2 years old. Tibbers is the bear. =)

Click on it to make it bigger. Pretty, non?

La la la my drugs of choice are caffeine and nicotine. I discovered menthol cigarettes the other night at 3am. I'm hooked. So yummy. <3

I've also completely cut up my arm.

I love Christians. Bah.

Nah I know some awesome ones. Oh wait... she converted to Judaism... dunno. I don't instantly hate Christians though. And I'm not just saying that so I don't piss off any Christians who read my blog. >_<

Oh my God. My step-aunt is my friend on Facebook (she's cool) and she saw my status was something along the lines of "waking up to a Facebook status posted by one of my friends that says God is love or some bs like that really sucks" and she messaged me saying that she agrees and if I ever need to talk to someone, I can talk to her. Obviously, I'm not actually going to talk to her. But it was still sweet. =)

Love the book, love the girl. =)

This basically describes my thought process in the past week. Sometimes I seriously wonder if I'm bipolar. But then, I don't think I am. I dunno. Blah. I cycle through moods fast, but we learned in psych111 that that's normal. In biopsychology (what I'm taking this semester), I learned you shouldn't have coke (cocaine) for breakfast. I like the teacher quite a bit. =3

Also me. Without the last part. I'm anxious as hell. It's not anxiety as much as it's unrest. I can't be at peace with myself. More at some times than others, but still. It's driving me insane. I want to cut, punch, throw up, starve myself to sanity.

I walked outside in the cold for 3 hours last night. -3C. Not too cold. Pretty cold without a coat in just a thin sweatshirt and jeans. I kept shivering and telling myself to stop being a dramatic bitch. I must have looked insane. I don't care. I am (going) insane.

My friend is coming in 12 minutes. Hope I finish this post by then... Ahaha I'm sorry I'm probably scaring you.

Images are taking ages to upload on here. >_<

Last bit of ranty bitching I think.

TRIGGER WARNING.

Sorry, I always wish people posted trigger warnings before mentioning stuff like this, so I'm not going to let myself be a hypocrite.

10 minutes until the friend gets here.

We have to read this book called Parable of the Sower for my English class. I was enjoying it. Dystopia, little bit of religion (a little too much, but I could deal with it), slight sex reference, but nothing graphic or triggering.

Then out of nowhere, the 18 year old girl sleeps with (sexually) the 44-ish year old guy. He finds out how old she is and freaks out. Then he wants to marry her. Btw, she slept with him willingly. She practically seduced him. He liked it. It was perfectly consensual.

All I could think was...

So it's wrong for a 44 year old guy to sleep with an 18 year old girl when both parties agree to it, but it's okay for a 42 year old guy to fuck a 17 year old girl against her will?

Which is what prompted the 3 hour walk.

I only had 2 cigarettes though. And a rockstar (240mg of caffeine). I think I handled it quite well.

Didn't even cut myself. That's just a miracle. Or because I ran out of space in my arm to cut. Whatever. If I was desperate enough, I could have done it somewhere else. I'm fat enough that there's plenty of space on me for that.

Happy pic time?

Caffeine-induced insomnia. In cute form.

<3

If you understand this, I will give you a hand-made (by moi) Dragon Army bracelet. Don't expect great things. Ahaha. But I'm not kidding about that.

Feminism-ish at its finest. =)

And because this is a weight loss blog of sorts...

"them"/"they" being the voices in your head, "friends", parents, family, whoever. Dunno.

One of the reasons I need to be thin. So guys wouldn't find me attractive. And if girls don't find me attractive? Well, that's the price I have to pay for freedom.

And just to end this post on the same nerdy note it started on... I leave you with something I find absolutely stunningly beautiful. =)

Love you all. <3

Thank you for the comment, Maja. <3 I think your English is fine. And hey, it's my second language too. =P I get how hard it is.

Ahem. Anyway. Beautiful picture time!