Puppy

My puppy is spoiled rotten. Swear to God. I keep getting her dog treats. >_<

Just got out of my psych class. I got a 25/25 on my first paper. Yay! Really happy right now. I feel like it's a good omen that I got a 100% on my first paper of the semester and that it was in my class for my major... you know?

Hmmm no news. It's cold as shit today and it's been snowing all day so... yay? Maybe? I dunno.

Sigh

On my stupid period.

I hate my life.

Whine whine whine.

Does anyone even read this stupid shit anymore?

My medication is not helping me at fucking all.

300th post

Woot?

I feel like death. I already skipped like half my classes (at least) and there's only been one week of classes.

My doctor gave me medication that's supposed to help me with my problem but I took the first one today and it's not doing shit.

I hate my life.

Sorry for being so whiny and bitchy and shit.

I just want to stop peeing constantly. It's getting worse. T_T

I'm scared it's related to the fact that I used to purge a lot.

But then, I know there are people who have done it more and I didn't hear about them having anything like this happen...

Anyone have any experience with this?

Anything? Please?

So I got my first textbook today. It's the third day of classes. Lmao I think I ordered my textbooks too late. XD Not worried though.

I am worried about the fact that the textbook (in very secure packaging - not worried about the books getting damaged!) was on the floor of the mail room in my building. Okay, I guess the mailman thought "Oh I'll put it here because there's nowhere else to put it!" which is true but... I dunno. I'm scared someone's gonna steal my textbooks you know? =/

Am I too paranoid?

53.1

This morning. After two big glasses of water. I'll take this as a good sign. =)

Classes started today. I only had two. Er...yeah I won't rant about them because I already did that enough in my last post.

I was home by noon. =D

Oh and my dad got me a new xbox360. So we're selling our old one. Yay!

And the boy, trying to be sweet, got me one of those giant-ass kitkats. T_T

It's just sitting in my laptop case right now. I don't know what to do with it. T_T Save it for later and eat it as my one meal a day? I dunno.

I've only consumed like 300-400cals total the past few days. And a bit of water. Woot...

Hai.

>_<

I want everything to be all sparkly and new and pretty.

I think it will be. =)

I'm feeling quite optimistic today!

Oh and Merry Christmas!

Today is the Russian Christmas. ^_^

54.2

I think I may have fucked up. Bad.

What am I doing with this guy?

I'm not happy. He uses me.

The other night, neither of us could sleep (no idea why) and I was exhausted out of my mind. Still couldn't sleep though. It sucked. Then he was randomly horny and he kinda tried having sex with me. He did actually. Even though I told him it hurt. He finished and just left me curled up on the bed, too tired to do anything.

And sadly, he seems to have that attitude towards everything lately.

I just want it to end.

No, not like suicide end. Like, break-up end.

But our lease expires July 29. And somehow we have to stay together, at least be civil to each other, until then. I can't afford to pay for that place by myself. I don't have a job. And yes, my parents are paying for it right now, but I can't ask them to keep doing that, though God knows my dad has more than enough to do that. It's just, my parents taught me better.

So now I'm fucked.

I have no idea what I'm supposed to do.

Classes start Monday.

>_<

My schedule?

=)


Monday
-History 151
9:30-10:20
-Philosophy 102
10:30-11:20

Tuesday
-Sociology 101
1:00-2:15
-Psychology 303
2:30-3:45
-Philosophy 224
4:00-5:15

Wednesday
History 151
9:30-10:20
-Philosophy 102
10:30-11:20

Thursday
-Sociology 101
1:00-2:15
-Psychology 303
2:30-3:45
-Philosophy 224
4:00-5:15

Friday
-Philosophy 102
8:30-9:20
-History 151
9:30-10:20

54.8

I'm sorry.

New Years

Or rather, last day of the old year.

I feel like I should have some wonderfully thought out post about changing times or something.

But I can't think of anything to say.

It hasn't been the greatest year. Though it certainly ended a lot differently than expected. I was supposed to be done with my sophomore year of college by now. Instead, I took a semester off, lived in a fucking trailer like some homeless drunk, and ended up with a guy who I'm not particularly happy with, but who I can tolerate, so that's good I guess?

No weight. Don't want to know my weight.

Sigh.

Don't leave college for a guy.

You probably won't listen though. I was told the same thing when I started at Miami. By someone who had left Miami for a guy who she ended up marrying and divorcing.

I wish I had listened.

Happy 2013.

Argh

Christmas was... uneventful. Literally. Nothing happened. We drank tea and watched X-Men. Woot? >_<

I'm still not feeling any better. At all.

But hey. It snowed! So that's one good thing. =) It's snowing like crazy right now!!! =D

Merry belated Christmas!

December 20, 2012

On my mother fucking period. Blah!

Thanks for the comments. =) I do feel a little better. Actually... certain people said my problem might have been caused by dehydration. I have a really bad habit of not drinking enough, I've had that problem for years. I've been trying to drink more and I think I am feeling better! Fingers crossed... =)

Hmm nothing much to say. Still reading that Rage of Angels book. Hehe... God I love it. Just been reading a lot in general recently. Books are such a wonderful escape for the less creative, like me... =)

53.8

Not good, but... decent I guess?

I have a slight problem... I went to the doctor for it but she said it'll take like up to two weeks for them to rule out STD's/bacterial infection so... blah. The problem? TMI WARNING. Should have mentioned that earlier. >_< Anyway. Tmi begins now... you have been warned. I've been peeing a lot recently. Not a lot as in quantity, but just... frequency. So it kind of freaked me out and I went to the doctor and she was like yeahhh the lab results will take fucking ages and she didn't really tell me anything else so now I'm just sitting at home being miserable. And reading. Rage of Angels by Sidney Sheldon is a really good book. =D

Anyway. To deal with this problem. I've been instructed to drink lots of water (of which I have no objection to, since water is awesome!), homemade cranberry juice (not lots, but... ugh it's kinda high-cal?) and chamomile tea. My mom brought over fresh cranberries and a box of tea the other day... so I'm kinda worried my weight's gone up just from all the liquids. I dunno...

I feel like shit though. I'm never taking my health for granted again. >_< Hopefully.

Purged

Last night I purged for the first time since this summer. I remember why I stopped. Dear God it felt terrible... I'm scared I'm losing my... I don't know. My motivation. The bad feeling purging gave me overruled the feeling of relief of having that food gone.

Shit.

Thinspo

Ooo and I got nominated so... yay I'ma do that now...

The rules:

You post 11 things about yourself

ask 11 questions

tag 11 people with no more than 200 followers

Okay so... 11 things about myself. 

1. I'm Russian.

2. I'm a little OCD. XD

3. I never read only one book at once... usually I read between 5 and 10. >_<

4. I've been spending a lot of time at the library recently.

5. I'm not very good at talking about myself.

6. I've been blogging since high school (sophomore year).

7. I live with my fiance.

8. I secretly (very secretly... you're the first to know!) wish my fiance was more dominant than he is, though I'm not entirely sure if I would be happy if he was.

9. I'm extremely indecisive.

10. I think old couples are adorable. =)

11. Purple is my favorite color.

11 answers: (from This Awesome Blog

Do you prefer to read a book or watch a movie? read a book

What do you think is your best feature? my hair

Tea or Coffee? coffee

What is the drunkest you have ever been? throwing up and being incapable of sitting up

How many sexual partners have you had? ....I'd rather not count them T_T

Do you think the world is going to end this year? Nope

What is your favourite perfume & aftershave? Vera Wang Princess

Would you ever consider cosmetic surgery? Yes

Have you left your own country for a holiday? I don't have a country

What is your favourite food? corn >_<

Who is you're favourite artist/band? I Am Ghost

My 11 questions:

What is your favorite blog?

Who is your role model and why?

What's your major in college? (If not in college, what are your interests?)

Favorite alcohol (or drink)?

Favorite book?

Favorite movie?

Favorite season?

Do you like or dislike these "favorite ___" questions?

Where do you hang out/spend most of your time?

Where do you want to be in 5 years?

What is your least favorite color?

Tagging:

(In no particular order)

-Complexity.Reworked

-Don't ask me for answers, I don't know them

-Fairy Dust

-If I Hope...

-Operation Purple Notebook

-Pheonix Pro Ana

-Tiny Intentions

-Words From a Sufferer

....Crap. I can't find more blogs with less than 200 followers... T_T

So.. if you have less than 200 followers, this award is yours! =)

Now... thinspo!

55.5

After food and coffee and .... dear God no wonder I'm fat. >_<

I'll do better though! Scared to weigh myself atm since I had to have dinner with my mom last night. >_< It was girly shit like salad and yogurt but still... falafel salad with that sauce they put on it and oily as hell "flaming cheese" and yogurt with OIL and mint/cucumber... oh and pita bread. We went to this place called Poco Piatti (sp?) that does that kind of stuff... ugh.

But I'll do better and be thin. I promise!