Zorro

We found a stray cat. His name is Zorro. He's black, white, and adorable. And he gets along fairy well with my puppy. Yay!

Friday, we moved into our new place. More yay. I'll get pictures of my kitten and my puppy up next time I blog.

Favorite game right now - Fable 2. So fun!

Love you!

126.4

Fully clothed, wearing boots with thick heels, after having had a veggie burger and tons of water. Still fat as hell.

On the positive side, my iron/protein levels are apparently fine. Actually I'm healthy as shit. How do I know this? I went to a checkup.

Oh and when they did the blood test (I'm sure you know what I'm talking about - where they prick your finger) I got dizzy as fuck and got super fucking close to passing out. For no apparent reason. Fucking a.

56.0

Okay... this was after 2 cups of coffee (the super fatty chocolate raspberry one...sigh I'm a fatass), a few cups of water, and a full day of eating (no not an all day binge, just eating when I got dizzy because we were walking a lot as usual)... oh and wearing my collar and a Chinese charm and all... blah blah blah. But still. I'll be better though =) I promise!

My puppy got her first squeaky chew toy. This might sound like a terrible idea but it actually isn't. XD She doesn't actually know how to make it squeak but whenever she does it accidentally she'll sit there and whimper a little about it. We think it's either because she feels bad that she hurt her toy or that she wants to make it squeak again and she doesn't know how. Still adorable as hell. XD

Cheers!

Aw... those nice comments made me cry a little... especially Sofie's. Thank you! <3

Was gonna weigh myself this morning but someone made me eat breakfast because we had a busy day... fucking a!

Tomorrow. I have to!

A little worried about my weight since I have a habit of letting myself get dehydrated and the fiance's been getting me to drink more water so I'm afraid that might make my weight go up.

Other yummy things I've been drinking (I feel it's worth a mention... some of you ladies/gentlemen might like them!)
-Folger's Black Silk (best black coffee I've tasted! So good ^_^)
-Chocolate raspberry (sadly this requires creamer to taste good... 10cals a cup, once every day or two... not too bad, though obviously taken into account)
-various fruit flavored green/white teas (Lipton/Stash) - no sugar/anything. They're yummy by themselves!
-iced Black Silk. (3 parts coffee, 1 part water - put in plastic pitcher and put in fridge - keeps for half a week or a week. Very good! It's like Starbucks iced coffee (no sugar) but more accessible!)

Hmm... I think that's it.

Thank you for reading. <3

Never blogging again

I can't deal with mean comments right now. Or ever.

Fiance was here when I read them and he saw them and said that's ridiculous since I don't even eat burgers (I'm vegetarian). Didn't really help. And I know I'm way under 175. I think. I don't know.

Still feel like shit right now. And I have to try to be healthy/not lose weight too fast because they weigh you every time you donate plasma (twice a week) and they won't let you donate if you're losing weight too fast.

I feel like shit right now. I'm sorry.

On my fucking period. Don't want to know how much I weigh.

22:32

54.1

Thin? My fucking fat ass....

We're getting the kitten as soon as we find a place to move into. So... before September!

The kitten's name is Stinker, but the guy giving him to us doesn't mind if we rename it. I wanted to name it Spyro, but apparently I'm not allowed to do that so... grr. Ideas?

Douchebag

We were at the fiance's friend's house yesterday. He's not a terrible person. He's the person giving me a kitten. (Oh! I didn't mention this... ahaha sorry I texted all my friends about it but for those of you who I don't text... YEAH I'M GETTING A KITTEN! Even though I have a cat allergy... ugh it's not too bad so I should be okay! He's black and white and sooo cute ^_^) And I dunno... he's not a *bad* person, but he does have more jerk moments than he needs to.

So what happened first was he said something slightly offensive (sexual joke) about girls. Nothing horrible. Or else I didn't understand it. Haha. And my fiance looked at me, laughing, and said I can hit him. Then jerkface got all ticked off and he was all "I would never let a sub hit me, even playfully."

Then we stopped at a gas station to get snacks. Fiance got me a Monster Rehab (10cals each, the lemonade one is awesome). And jerkface started ranting about how I'm too thin and how he's going to give me super fattening food and stuff. Btw I'm not thin at all! Ugh. It was terrible.

So... yeah not in a good mood right now.

Though I guess I should be happy that a few people said I looked too thin/scrawny? Even though that's impossible considering my weight...

Nyeh whatever.

Dude.

I'm getting a kitten.

FUCK YES!

53.3

I guess it could be worse...

Please don't ask me how much I weigh. Even I don't want to know.

Dunno...

Played about 5 hours of Oblivion (the game before Skyrim in that series) in the past evening/morning. Woot?

La dee da. I got a book of 100 sudoku so I'm happy =) It's really cute and small. ^_^

54.1

Thanks for the comment. =)

Fiance's inside arguing with his parents over the phone right now.

Deciding my future.

Yay?

Do all these pictures bother you guys? Should I have a separate blog for them?

53.0

I'm starting Oblivion.

Yay?

54.4

53.3

Fat as fuck. Don't care. La dee da.

Only staying with him because it's easier than dealing with another break up.

Yay?

53.3

Fat fuck.

I don't want to be worshiped though...

Saw 52.1 on my scale yesterday. 52.4 today. I'm on my period though so I don't know what to trust...

Wow. Thank you all so much for your comments. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

About the guy: We're trying to work things out. (His cute nickname is "Wolfy") and he's doing a "Wolfy 2.0 beta" thing (idea off Big Bang Theory). Basically, he just tries to improve on anything I don't like. So... if this doesn't work, he's out.

Um. Dunno.

I'll never bitch about how unloved I am. Hold me to that.

I love all of you.

I can't deal with this anymore. All he does is play video games and fuck me when he's bored. All I'm good for is sex. Or showing off. "Hey look... I got a girl even though I'm a nerd!"

I'm tired of this.

He left me home alone for 4 days straight even though I cut myself up on the first day and he knew about it.

I wish I had someone who cared.

I know it's too much to ask for and I don't deserve it but that's really all I want.

I'm sorry.

I guess right now my blog is like my friend. Someone I can talk to about anything. You know?

If you read this and don't hate me... you're probably a saint.

In a non-religious sense.

I've been playing Skyrim and drinking 0cal lemonade. Yay?

(I take no credit for the photo - just some healthy food inspiration)

The puppies are great. They've been fighting a lot recently but they've also been loving as hell, so it's a bit confusing... It's like they're bipolar puppies. We used to think they were stoner puppies. Oh how puppies change... Haha.

53.2

Still nothing to say...

I might get a job at Starbucks.

Yay?

53.9

No update. Just an old Postsecret I found around father's day.

Blah blah blah I'm probably gonna be pregnant with how much sex I have. It's a bit depressing really.

I dunno what to say.

Hi?

I love you for reading this, if you do.

<3

53.9

To answer a question - I'm about 5'2.5" - 5'3".

Hmm update.

It's not pretty. As you can tell by my weight.

4th of July, I wore my size 2 jeans for the first time. They fit perfectly. Yay!

Then everything went downhill.

We went to a party and I got horribly drunk. Throwing up/passing out drunk. Apparently while I was drunk, I ranted about how I thought I was horribly fat and made myself throw up. Also, a random guy there (not a creeper) said that when he saw me, he was hoping I was single and he told my fiance he's really jealous of him. Haha. God I dunno.

Woke up at 52.7.

Yay?

Nope.

All-day hangover.

Then had a sleepover at the dieting friend's house. She's on her diet. She ate 5-6 pieces of cheese pizza covered in honey mustard. We stayed up all night playing a scary game and drinking chocolatey coffee. That's basically been it.

The boy made tofu today and he was all happy as fuck cause it turned out well.

<3

54.1

I'm a fucking fat ass.

I'll be better.

I promise.

Haven't weighed myself yet today.

Probably should do that.

Haha.

Whatever.

<3

Thank you for reading my blog.

On period, not weighing myself.

Might be moving to New Jersey.

Boy just came out here to check on me. (I sit outside with the big, scary half-pit bull dog named Duchess when I want to go online. She loves me and scares away people who try to bother me. ^_^)

Didn't hang out with "special food" dieting friend because the day we planned to have a sleepover was the day my period started and I was like... yeah not gonna happen.

<3

54.0

Well I'm a fat fuck. And no, that is obviously not a picture of me. >_<

My mom messaged me back. She's actually pretty chill about me staying here. =)

Waiting for the boy to get back home. Blah. He's been gone since about 5:30am. Lame... -_-

And I have a sleepover tomorrow. With a fat girl trying to diet. She needs special "diet foods" that she had to order online in order to do so and supposedly she can lose 10lbs a week on this diet. I've seen her recently. She hasn't lost any weight.

I'll be good, though I'm sure she'll want to get pizza and chips and horrible things like that.

XD

Love you!

53.7kg

Nothing to talk about really. I told my mom I'm not going back to Miami, the university I went to last year. That I'm staying here with my fiance, not with her. We'll see what she says. She's out of the country right now so I guess I'll have to wait a bit for a response.

<3

54.3kg

I got down to 53.8 but I dunno what happened... I've been eating about 250-300cals a day, so I decided my metabolism needs a boost... I'll drink more coffee now. =) Black, of course.

Akira came from Kira (the guy in the Death Note), but then the fiance realized he had a sister named Kira, so we decided to name the puppy Akira. =)

Thought this was interesting...

Dunno what to say...

Apparently I have a new best friend here... we got drunk together and ended up making out after having some coffee since she has a thing against doing anything sexual with anyone who's drunk. She got jealous of my collar cause she said it's prettier than hers. XD (It is, no lie. Mine was custom-made, hers is just black leather and it doesn't have any elegance or anything so...blah.) She got me into Ted Dekker though! I'm reading The Bride Collector right now. Also trying to get through the Percy Jackson books... they're a very nice light read. =)

Should update with a better weight in a few days. =)

Love you all!

54.0kg

Dunno. I was 55.2kg yesterday, went crazy on coffee/unsweetened iced tea (caffeinated - fiance makes it himself and I watch him like crazy to make sure he doesn't add anything to the tea ^_^ so delicious!), freaked out because the fiance got home after fixing both of his grandmas' netbooks and said because I didn't eat the day before, I'd have to eat that night. Thankfully what he made was pretty good. This very subtle/sweet-ish onion sauce thing (not creamy) over a little bit of pasta (for me, he had a lot more because he knows I don't like big amounts of food) and I binged on about 7 gummy worms. Damnit. But then I woke up today and didn't have a bm (tmi I'm sorry!) and stepped on my scale and it was 54.0! YAY!

Feeling quite optimistic =) and my puppies are adorable! I'll post pictures of them asap. =) Their names are Akira and Z. =) I love them.

Thank you for the lovely comments by the way.

<3 I love you all!

57.2

Damnit damnit damnit. I can't read your blogs for the moment because my computer broke (well, the charger got chewed by puppies) but I will get back to that asap. On the fiance's computer at the moment (using the incognito mode on Google Chrome) to say that I'm finally losing weight, however little. I plan to keep this going obviously.

Btw - note about my weight. While it would be ideal, I don't actually weigh myself naked since I'm always wearing my collar, which is leather with metal on it. Probably adds weight but my logic on that is that since I always wear it, it makes sense that I wear it while weighing myself. What do you guys think?

Ugh can't post a picture because he can see the screen from where he's sitting and it's a fucking desktop. He's probably wondering why I'm on Blogger. Haha.

Love you guys.

Thanks for the comment by the way! It made me laugh. =)