May 18, 2013

FUCK. I'm so fat I hate myself.

I just left Ohio yesterday, right? And this morning I get a text from this girl (I'll call her S) that was apparently a mass text that said that she had slept with my boyfriend. Why am I so fucking fat? And it's obvious he did it because he hates me so much because this girl... S... ugh she's the one who'l make me leave my favorite cafe while I'm drinking my favorite tea because she won't stop talking about how hilarious rape is and how anyone who thinks rape jokes are offensive is dumb and how girls who say they've been raped are all lying attention-whores. And the bf knows this and he's never tried to stop her. He encourages it, even when 'm leaving because I cant deal with it anymore.
So of course he would sleep with her to get back at me for being so fat and horrible and ugly and stupid.

I've been crying all morning which I feel really bad about because I shouldn't... It was my fault for being this fat.

Fucking hell I have to lose weight.

I'm meeting a few judges and law school graduates (now lawyers) who are considering giving me an internship today. I hope I don't cry in front of them.

I can't stand this.

Sorry about this shit post I just needed to get it out.


  1. the bf is a fucking asshole
    and omg S sounds like a fucking asshole herself. i hate people that make jokes about stuff like that. i cannot stand it at all.
    i'm sorry, honey. no, it is not your fault. you can't blame yourself for something you aren't. you are not fat, honey. not at all.
    i hope you get the intership.
    everyone has shit days, honey. you needed to let it out. we understand. it's what we're here for anyway.
    -Sam Lupin

  2. Oh honey, I'm so so sorry to hear this. You're boyfriend is obviously a jerk, but that's just un-fucking-believable. I can't imagine how hurt you must feel right now. You deserve so much better. It's his loss and his fuck-up, not your's, okay?
    Sending you lots of love. I hope tomorrow is better than today *hugs* xxxx

  3. You don't need people like either of them around you. It makes me so angry that he has done this to you, he clearly didn't realise what he had. It's not your fault so please don't blame yourself, he is just an idiot.
    I'm sorry to hear this has happened, I hope you will be ok <3
    Alice xx


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